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PC’s Nose Is Forreals!, + Nargis Fakhri, Ameesha Patel, Arjun Rampal, Shahid Kapoor, Farah Khan, Shakun Batra & THE DISCO SONG!!

Fake Out: Priyanka Chopra’ s Nose Is As Real As Snooki’s Tan

Courtesty iDiva

Oh you know it’s true! The future NFL Network star says:

“So far, I have never felt the need for any enhancement surgery. What I have is what I have been blessed with. People had a lot of issues about the fact that I was dusky and not a conventional-looking heroine.

It hurts when people judge or crucify me on imaginary counts. I have looked different at different ages because I have worked on my look.”

AND she  eats whatever she wants and NEVER works out and her nose changes shape all by itself…is there anything this woman can’t do?

“The bad hurts me and me alone, and the good comes because of my amazing personality.”

AND she has an amazing personality!!

Sigh, PC you so perfect, I swear by Snooki’s tan and all things unholy and natural that you are my idol forever and ever.

Nargis Fakhri’s World Domination Plans

…and while PC is busy taking over the NFL, Nargis just can’t decide what the hell she’s going to do given that no one in Bollywood wants to touch her with a barge pole. I mean, for acting assignments.

So we’ve heard that she wants to open a bed & breakfast complete with organic farm recently, but since that Marie Claire interview (which was what, a couple weeks ago?) the plan has changed to social service, you know like….:

“I want to help people, be of some service, you know. Maybe become like Oprah (Winfrey) some day.”

Why don’t you just try the medical profession next while you’re at it Nargis?

Here is what you were meant to do: IT IS CALLED M-O-D-E-L-I-N-G. And there is no shame in it.

Cast Outs: Arjun & Shahid

So Arjun Rampal is no longer playing the role of Sher Khan (originally essayed by the inimitable Pran) for the Zanjeer remake which would be totally uninteresting news if it weren’t such a huge relief. I mean could he BE any less Sher Khan-ish? Buzz is that Sanjay Dutt is replacing him – a more suitable fit IMO. As per the B-town norm, the news is pretty confirmed except that no one has confirmed it yet.

Shahid Kapoor is also out of Maneesh Sharma’s (of Band Baaja Baarat fame) next which was so potentially scandalous that YRF apparently sent out a press release to confirm it (which immediately made it all business-like and boring).

And yet, the TOI gets the last word in their report:

What is a bummer though is the fact that Shahid would have been the leading man of Vishal Bhardwaj’s Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola had he not committed to Maneesh Sharma at that point.

Mwahahahaha, Imran.

Kicked Out: Ameesha Patel, Item Girl

Just one more milestone in Ameesha’s epic Bollywood career graph – being turned down for an item number by her director Susi Ganesan, of Shortcut Romeo:

“She was insistent about doing the number ever since she heard that there is one in the film. But her part in the movie is a negative one. I couldn’t change the part and make her do an item song. As a director, I told her that it would affect the whole character graph; so I had to refuse.” [Source]

As though doing this movie with Neil Nitin Mukesh isn’t bad enough, now she wants to take it to a whole new level of Sad by offering herself up as an item girl even though it doesn’t make any sense for the character. Le WHY? Just do your goddamn negative role and show us that you can maybe possibly act. Lord knows we’ve seen enough of your skin-show every opportunity you get.

Someone, seriously please answer me this, is she trying to stay on the D-list?

Lash Out: Farah Khan For No Discernible Reason

After clearly urging Shahrukh to greet her Karela & Kaddu at Mannat so that the film would garner greater visibility and favor among his fan base (otherwise known as “promoting” but not according to Farah), to which he graciously acquiesced with his trademark wit and even talked about why out-of-the-box films like Joker should be given a chance -

- Farah went all Hulk Hogan on the media when they dared to state that Shahrukh had promoted the film:

I think she’s just lost her marbles because of too much pressure regarding the whole Shirish-SRK fight/apology plus everybody-hates-Joker situation. There was a comment on my Shirish Kunder post about how we shouldn’t  talk about their marriage and normally I would agree with that 100%.

But what makes it difficult in Farah’s case is that so much of her career IS tied up with her personal relationships. After all, SRK isn’t the one who asked to take pictures – nor did any of the other stars she approached. She took that route because they are her friends and she thought it would be fun.

So now when she’s turning around and being so hypocritical about the whole thing (apparently Shirish’s Ra.One apology touched a nerve), it’s hard not to make things personal. I’ll say this much, Farah is way too sensitive about Shirish, and it has caused her to act irrationally and emotionally towards her other relationships on several occasions now.

The Undefinables

See, this is the problem I have with these next-gen so-philosopical-post-modern-bullshit-stream-of-consciousness type directors.

Exhibit A: Shakun Batra of  Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu fame (which I hated) talking about his next project for Dharma:

“It won’t be like a romantic film. It won’t be out-an-out romantic-comedy film. All the three ideas have one thing – drama, they deal with drama. They talk about day-to-day human things. All I can say is I am working towards the ideas that I have in my mind.”

Exhibit B: Sahil Sangha of Love Breakups Zindagi fame talking about his alleged next:

“I am writing a coming of age story. It is about a guy who gets into a problem and how he overcomes it.”

“It is not a romantic problem like girl is not there in his life and those types. There is a love story… There is an element of emotion.”

Great. Sounds like they know what they’re talking about then. Here, how about this: WHY DON’T YOU TRY A P-L-O-T?

It’s Heeeeeeere!! DISCO DEEWANE!

YOU GUYS!!! I am totally and unabashedly embracing the cheese with this one. Like seriously, this one song has taken me from SOTY-hater to SOTY-lover in two minutes flat.

But tell me this, because I can’t figure it out. Do you think this is self-referential cheese or unintentional cheese?

Whatever it is, I AM DOWN WITH THE CHEESE! THE ORIGINAL KJO IS BACK WITH A BANG!

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8 comments on “PC’s Nose Is Forreals!, + Nargis Fakhri, Ameesha Patel, Arjun Rampal, Shahid Kapoor, Farah Khan, Shakun Batra & THE DISCO SONG!!

  1. OMG I’ve played this song a hundred times already! I’m obsessed, you hear me? OBSESSED. And little Alia Bhatt is presh. But why are people hating so hard on this movie on youtube? Is it because it’s an SRK co-production and is attracting the usual horde of Bhai-fan trolls? I mean, there’s nothing offensive/inept about it. It looks perfectly polished and harmless. I wonder if it has to do with lots of people just turning against “candyfloss” commercial films. It either has to be masala or it has to be Kashyap-brand realism. But then, how would one explain Cocktail’s success? I’m confused. And obsessed with the Disco Song.

    • Sal – WOOHOO Team SOTY FTW!! :P But I’m not as impressed with Ms. Bhatt as you are…still think she’s a bit washed out. Varun Dhawan however seems to have the IT factor in loads.

      As for why people are hating – well Karan has his fair share of haters, plus even I thought the trailer was really pheeka when I first saw it. My mind started changing only after I saw it on the big screen, and now with Disco I am fully on board!!

  2. Another interview of an actress who says she has not had any surgeries. Sridevi too gave similar statement in a filmfare interview. Incidently both these ladies are Plastic Queens! (But i’m looking forward to both of them in Barfi & EV.)

    Duck Lips looks really gorgeous at times (at least better than Kat), she should just stick to modelling.

    Not a Shanatic, but Shahid is any day better than Imran Khan and that too for a Vishal Bharadwaj film. He gave interviews and tweeted recently that he’ll start shooting in few days. I guess he only has Rajkumar Santoshi’s Phata Poster Nikla Hero. Pull up your socks Shahid!

    Lastly The Disco Song, is neither great nor shitty. Its ok! The trailer too was meh! Directors like KJo & SLB have lost their charm.

    Nice post. Love your writing style. :-)

    • Rahul,

      Yeah, I have no issues with plastic surgery, it’s just the DENIAL that is like – oh come on!

      Tote agree re Shahid >>>>> Imran any day. Even though he’s dropped out of the Maneesh film, I think he’s got some good ones lined up so hopefully he’ll have a hit soon.

      I’m reeeally hoping KJo brings some of his KKHH charm back with SOTY – as I said I’ve gone from hating the trailer to totally embracing it now!

      Thanks for commenting! :)

      • You’d think they could at least use the age old Hollywood excuse “I had a deviated septum” Everyone knows it’s a lie but at least it’s admitting you had a nose job.

  3. SOTY does nothing for me. If I’m going to watch a “high school” movie or whatever it needs to be hilarious and/or partly based in real life, which Karan’s movies almost never are. And the girl has no presence at all, and the two guys look alike.

    • Jess – ahaha, yeah expecting “real life” from Karan’s movies is like asking for the moon. I’m not expecting anything much at all from the movie except some silly, cheesy glamorous fun…On the big screen and in this song I thought Varun had a lot more presence than the other guy, Alia is a total washout.

  4. I’m just wondering what is it with this obsession of launching in bollyworld, why this young actors can’t learn they trade starting as secondary characters. This said I don’t feel this movie, I used like Karan work, but lately he just irritating me, maybe I became old and grumpy;/

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