Matru Ki Bijlee, Chennai Express, Senior Bachchan’s Internet Lingo, Zilla Ghaziabad & SAW’s First Look + Ek Thi Daayan !!!

Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola

So pretty much all the people who scare me on twitter are absolutely in LOVE with this movie so….yeah, I think I’ll give it a skip.

What’s been especially baffling are many reviewers who have been comparing it to both Aiyyaa and Joker. Primarily because I had hoped never to see Aiyyaa and Joker ever uttered in the same breath ever but also because this analogy has been used to convey just just how BAD the film is.

On the other hand, the favorable reviews are so complicated, one needs an encyclopedia just to get through them. It’s obviously a film that requires you to bring a rather large brain with you into the cinema. Even Taran Adarsh says you can’t leave it at home this time.

Clearly, I’m a part of what TA refers to as the “hoi polloi”. We prefer to ponder mind-altering questions like:


“Me and my darling were flying in the plane,

The plane catch on fire and we falling in the TRAIN!!!”


Chennai Express

Speaking of trains, I think I was flu’d out when the Chennai Express posters  were released and Shahrukh broke twitter again.



This SRK – South Indian combination is just asking for trouble, you know it is. Whenever the man does anything remotely South Indian, everyone gets angry.

But yanna raskala, will controversy trail this man forever?  Chennai Express is my Number One looked forward to film of 2013 and I’m reeeeeaaallly hoping Rohit Shetty has more sense than to be disrespectful but…SRK in Chennai-related shenanigans.

You know shit will hit fan. I can hear the knives being sharpened already.

Directory Of Big B’s Crazy Acronyms

So while the rest of us have been wasting our lives away, Senior Bachchan has secretly been creating his own internet lingo and changing the landscape of social media. Have you been following his tweets? Forget the ZOMG’s and LMAO’s and SMH’s.

THIS is what the cool kids are tweeting these days.

BUI – Buck Up India

HTHT – How To Handle This

BKNW – But Know Not When

STFU – Saner Thoughts Fail U (geddit geddit?)

TwFmXt (Twitter Family Extended Edition or something like that which is different from the EF, which is JUST the Extended Family)

(INMTU – I’m Not Making This Up TOTTC- This One Takes The Cake <– those are mine:)

EVOO – Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Oh wait, I don’t think that last one was his.

I just love how they are so completely random. Amit ji, URS! (URS – U Rock Sir!)


Zila Ghaziabad looks like the latest in a looooong, weary line of films with a Dabangg hangover. But DND (Do Not Dismiss) because we learn important lessons here -

Sanjay Dutt being wire-fu’d is HILARIOUS. He kind of looks like he’s afraid he might fall.


Collar-dancing does NOT equal belt-dancing. If you’re not Salman Khan, YOU CAN’T PULL IT OFF.

Combine guns, plus women, plus local dialect, plus khakee vardi, plus gigantic moonches in as many different combinations as possible. HIT FORMULA HAI BHAI!

Never shoot a gun standing on solid ground or you know, at a person, when you can fire it mid-air or from random angles.

And THEN. There’s this:


HAHAHAHAHA. I’m sorry this just made me laugh so hard, even though it’s supposed to be John Abraham’s ultra-menacing look as Manya Surve in Shootout At Wadala.  It was even funnier because I’d been following Sanjay Gupta’s rather nervous tweets about the first look of his big opus being revealed (he even wrote a whole article about the history behind SAW in TOI) and I was totally nervous for him….

And then the first look came out and I was like OMG LMAO DNCUTS!!!

Now for something good:

Ek Thi Daayan Looks Bloody Awesome

Now THIS is a Vishal Bhardwaj I can get behind. Creepy, creepy. And I love that it’s got the folklore angle and let’s face it, SOMEONE other than Vikram Bhatt and RGV need to tackle the horror genre before we all die of shame.

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10 comments on “Matru Ki Bijlee, Chennai Express, Senior Bachchan’s Internet Lingo, Zilla Ghaziabad & SAW’s First Look + Ek Thi Daayan !!!

  1. Completely loved that Dabangg 2 song, only Salman could do it. I have a terrible feeling about Chennai Express though. Its just not the guys type of film. MKBKM looks amazing I can’t wait to watch it. And am I the only one who found ETD trailer about as scary as a care bear?

    • Maya,

      I think the ETD trailer is more creepy than it is scary, that’s what I love about it – it has a moodier vibe rather than going for the usual cheap horror-thrills.

  2. I thought MKBKM was OK but am baffled by glowing reviews suggesting its another cerebral Vishal Bhardwaj masterpiece. It’s a patchy mishmash that probably would work better if viewers don’t think too much about it, just laugh at the several funny bits

    • Stuart,

      Wow you saw it already?! I’m impressed! ;) The reviews have been all over the place with this, some people reading a LOT into it, others being quite dismissive…I know it’s not my kind of movie so…

      • Yes, happy circumstance let me see it on release day. I think the glowing reviews from people reading so much into it are because they figure there must be hidden depths to its, since it’s a VB film. :-)

  3. Kaise bani? Kaise bani?
    Kaise bani? Rama, kaise bani?
    Phulauri bina chutney kaise bani?

    The only thing that stayed with me after Dabangg 2. Originally sung by Sundar Popo from Trinidad and Tobago, whose other hit was ‘Nana and Nani':

    Nana chale aage aage, Nani goin behind
    Nana drinkin white rum and Nani drinkin wine

    Me Nani tell me Nana, “Man I feelin cold
    Gimme some white rum to warm up me soul.”

  4. Baradwaj Rangan is my favorite Indian film critic, and I usually find a lot of value in what he says about films, even though I don’t necessarily feel the same way as he does about every movie. But I love that he doesn’t have that tone of condescension and dismissal when dealing with commercial Hindi cinema that several other “serious” writers do. He gamely discusses influences, technique, and context even when talking about the “massiest” of blockbusters. His review of Dabanng, for instance, was bang on.
    Neither of the two reviews seem particularly complicated to me, though. You’ve done analysis that is just as intelligent and elegantly complex. (That fantastic review of Shanghai comes to mind.)
    I do agree with Rangan on his assertion that VB’s films have gotten increasingly and self-consciously mannered. I think he’s evolving as a filmmaker, and still figuring out how to work the new style he’s attracted to. I am always intrigued by his films, because they are always, regardless of how successful they may be in achieving their aims, interesting, layered, and ambitious. 7 Khoon Maaf, for example, didn’t win me over, but I was glad it had been made and that I had watched it.
    What VB really needs to do is to go back and work with solid actors. It can’t be a question of casting commercial names to get financing and pitch the film at a bigger scale; Maqbool looked as cinematic and grand as anything he’s done since. I remember how hilariously he bitched about Shahid and his vanity during the Kaminey promo rounds. Cast an Irrfan, Vishal, and you won’t have to worry about all that nonsense.

    • Also, “Ghar mein Mao-Lenin nahi hai ke?” HILARIOUS. This is another reason I love VB. He makes films that actually delight in the Indian languages, as opposed to being written in English and then awkwardly translated into Hindi (looking at Excel, as fine as their films are.)
      Plus, Raja Sen is spot-on about Pankaj Kapoor. That man is a national treasure. He elevates the hokiest of crap (*cough* Dus *cough*), but in the hands of a director who actually knows what he’s doing, he is unbeatable. Abbaji from Maqbool = one of the most terrifying villains of all time, IMO.

      • Ahaha, Sal, you got me there on the Shanghai review (and thank you). I respect Rangan a lot as a critic (his writing is a delight) though of late, I find myself disagreeing with him more than not. Anyway though, VB is so hit and miss for me. I adored Maqbool and Omkara but Kaminey and 7 Khoon Maaf didn’t do much for me. I also have an allergy towards non-linear, “whacky” storytelling, and Matru *seems* particularly self-indulgent to me on that front. I dunno, I think I’m just too stubborn about wanting a linear, dramatic narrative arc and it bugs me when people veer away from that (clearly just a personal preference though).

        No arguments re Pankaj Kapoor, he was the only thing that blew me away in the trailer.

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