Who Let The Divas Out? Saif, John, Ranbir, Ranveer + The Kat-Anu-PC-Dips Frenemy Quadrangle & More!!

Diva Battle #1: The Race 2 Team


Well, it turns out Saifu’s fancy suit wasn’t just about making a fashion statement. He was actually gettin’ his diva on in the Diva Battlefield that apparently is the Race 2 Promo Tour. And no it’s not the ladies. It’s not even Ameesha. It’s Saifu & John.

In other words, that suit was basically Saif’s “I’m a bigger star than John” suit.

Here’s what went down. According to this crazy-awesome article linked to me by @sukeshsharma24 (thank you!) Saif and John were totally not talking to or acknowledging each other during the entire press conference in Dubai. In fact they were so busy out-sulking each other, they forgot to answer any questions.

“And while the two exchanged not a single word in front of the audience, it was left up to the likes of Ameesha Patel, Deepika Padukone and Jacqueline Fernandez to dodge most of the media queries.

Meanwhile, Anil Kapoor appeared to be smirking at a private joke that none were clued into.”


Not one to miss any opportunity to make a fool of herself, Ameesha Patel tried to save the day by making this statement:

“The sequel to ‘Race’ is steamier, racier than its predecessor, with even more sexy women.”

Even more sexy women is just what the Race franchise needs, along with more twists.

Also, not one to miss any opportunity to make his On Par With Hollywood speech, Anil Kapoor took advantage of the Saifu-John cold war by endorsing “his” Hollywood movie:

My film, ‘Mission Impossible 4’ was shot in IMAX and in fact, I saw its first rushes here in this Meydan theatre (where the event was being held). I am quite optimistic that in five to 10 years, we will be on par.

Finally, in Ask A Stupid Question news, these were Saif & John’s responses when asked “what they would be chasing if life were a race”. (SERIOUSLY journos? He wore the big fancy suit and THAT’S what you came up with?)

“Is this a press conference or a Stardust convention? I guess happiness and success.” – Saif

“Burning 600 calories daily.” – John

Can’t THIS stuff be the movie?

[Update: Thanks to Anishok for reminding me about Saif’s “This is Race, and Race is mine” statement, you can check outthis video of his presscon in London, which took place right before Dubai. The part about Dhoom vs Race comes at around 15:30.]

Diva Battle #2: Ranbir Vs. PeeCeeLicious

Rajeev Masand’s Open Magazine column this week alludes to an A-list star son (Ranbir) who completely out-diva’d a popular female star (PC) during Screen Awards rehearsals.

Basically PC was all, “I wanna rehearse before Ranbir coz I’m an international pop star yo.”

And Ranbir was all, “say whaaaa?” even as the event organizers, for some inexplicable reason, pushed Ranbir’s slot back for her.

But he didn’t blow the house down or say anything to PC. No no. Lest we forget the devilish streak Ranbir displayed during his unforgettable turn on the always dependable Koffee With Karan, he set aside his painstakingly re-constructed seedha sadha bhola bhala image to show Ms. Thang a thing or two about divalicious behavior.

But how to out-diva the queen of the emo-tweets without making Papa Rishi call another press conference? Why the way divas all over the world do it. Passive-aggressively of course.

After the Screen Awards were over and the performers had to re-shoot their acts for the cameras, Ranbir took his sweet time “getting his steps right” for his act. And this time, PeeCeeLicious had no option but to wait and wait and wait and Instagram some random pics and wait some more.

Ai hai Ranbir. Diva-giri, woh bhi with class!

Diva Battle #3: Deciphering The Katrina-Anushka-Deepika-Priyanka Frenemy Quadrangle

So I may be completely wrong about this (it frankly makes me a bit dizzy) but this is kind of how I’ve sorted it out in my head:

Anushka doesn’t wanna be friends with anybody yaar. “I need to check off every name on my Director Wish List plus there’s a good chance my ex-boyfriend is flirting with you so please get the fuck out of my way.”

Dippy has no issues with Anushka yaar. “If someone else has a problem with me, I’ll be the first one to go up and apologize even if it’s not my fault.” (Diplomat-wala insult)

Katrina is friends with everybody yaar! “We are all professionals here. Competition is healthy. I have no problems with anybody. I support everyone. Basically I am perfect I walk on water and you can’t prove otherwise.”

PC is yaaron ka yaar, yaar!  “Say whaaaaa? I’m too busy making friends with the Khans yo.”


Anushka: “Snap, I should make up with Katrina yaar! Or she’ll eat my list and sign all my films plus she has magical powers!” …and promptly invites Kat to the MKBKM premiere and makes sure the world knows about their “laughing, giggling and chatting”. (“LOL, I didn’t mean that thing I said about Katrina and Bombay Velvet everybody!”)

Dips: “What, no invite for me?”


Anushka: “Mere paas Katrina hai. Aur Katrina ke paas Ranbir hai. Tumhare paas kya hai?”

Dips: “Mere paas PC hai! Aur vaise mere aage peeche Ranveer bhi hai!”



Or something like that.

Which Brings Me To Diva Battle #4: Ranveer Singh Vs. Zoom TV Cameras

Basically, you just NEED to watch this video. Non-hindi speakers, do not fret – you can watch it on mute. In fact, it’s better that way. Just watch Ranveer do his thing as he ignores Anushka (winks at the camera for good measure), “bumps into” Deepika and tries not to drool on her, ignores Anushka again (follow the circle-diagrams!), wanders the halls either trying to avoid or find Anushka, moves his chair closer to Deepika, fixes her necklace (for what seems like ages) while Anushka sits right behind him, etc, etc.

It’s hilarious and I think it would make a great silent film. Plus, facial hair OVERLOAD people. Not the sexy.

Props to Zoom. This is some quality spycamming-slash-diagramming-deconstructing right here.

Diva Battle #5: Stardust Nominations

This is my kind of nominations list, the kind that reads like Shobha De designed it in a drunken fit of Bollywood glitter.

The always dependable Stardust team wowed us with the dirtiest red carpet of all time last year…


….and they did us better by creating the dirtiest awards categories list of all time this year.  If you’re gonna do a Bollywood awards show, THIS is how you do it, by ditching all pretense of credibility or sanity and just going whole hog and embracing the crazy.

A Sampling:

Superstar Of Tomorrow

Hottest Film Producer (um, define “hot”)

Hottest New Filmmaker (ibid; also, define “filmmaker”)

Dream Director (not, apparently, the same as Best Director; also why can’t directors be “hot” like producers?)

New Musical Sensational Singer (Yo Yo Honey Singh was nominated, that explains everything)

…and of course 5 million Best Actor categories.

I honestly just want to see if they’ll clean up the carpet this year. Egads Kadsoo.

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19 comments on “Who Let The Divas Out? Saif, John, Ranbir, Ranveer + The Kat-Anu-PC-Dips Frenemy Quadrangle & More!!

  1. Hahaha! This is some kind of post Getfilmy!! My favourite Diva battle of all is Diva Battle #4: Ranveer Singh Vs. Zoom TV Cameras!! Man!! This is so interesting someone should be inspired and make a film out of it! I mean look at Anushka expression that Zoom managed to “zoom” at.. Diva Battle #3 is interesting too but its too confusing for me ;)

    Stardust really cracked their brains to award deserving people I guess. I’ll just rely on Filmfare and Zee Cine Awards moving forward.. Hehehe!!

    • Lol, diwaniladki – battle #3 is confusing for me too but I thought I’d give it a shot! ;) Anushka keeps an admirable straight face throughout the Ranveer video – props to her!

  2. That Zoom video is HYSTERICAL, as is your write-up. I’m going to do a song parody for Ranveer that goes, “Munda Muchhad Kamaal Da!” and it shall be awesome. Seriously, though, I am starting to worry about my beloved weirdo. The dude’s been in two films. but he’s all over the place being his super-enthusiastic, slightly rascally self, and I fear the backlash is building up.

    • Sal –

      DO IT. I will fangirl all over Munda Muchhad Kamal Da.

      You think there’s a backlash? I guess his personal life has definitely been all over the place but he’s still got enough talent to back it up. “Slightly rascally self” is the perfect way to describe him. I think he’s a bit of a loose cannon but as long as he keeps his focus straight when it comes to work I think he’ll be alright.

  3. Haha this Ranveer chap must be pinching himself everyday if he is seeing Deepika. That zoom video was hilarious, he is clearly all over her. She can do so much better that him! Anushka weirds me out ever since her WTF interviews started and her gross lips.

    • Nehrika,

      Yeah Anushka’s been very jittery ever since she signed all her big films. Think she’s having a bit of trouble handling the success but I guess she’ll either smooth things out and handle things better in the future or continue to make awkward statements, which is always more fun. I like her on screen. I just hope the business doesn’t get to her head.

  4. Thanks for cracking me up early Tuesday morning!

    #1: Saifu apparently told a journo that “Race is about me, it’s the Dhoom franchise, where the villain becomes more popular” OH SNAP!

    #2: slow clap for Ranbir!

    #3: I don’t know what’s up with the girls, but it’s genuinely refreshing seeing DP and PC laughing and hugging, and Kat and Anushka standing on stage hand in hand…FEMALE FRIENDSHIP!

    #4: Not a Hindi speaker, watched the video with the sound…and the dramatic commentary makes it even better (even though don’t understand a word)

    #5: You mentioned Dirty Carpet Awards on twitter, but I couldn’t imagine the carpet had really been so…err..dirty.

    • Ani –

      Oh yeah I saw that Saifu vid where he said that! And I think the Dubai press conference was after London so mystery solved! I guess that’s what John was PO’d about. Tsk tsk.

      Re the girls, I was watching SRK’s YRF act and it struck me how DP was standing so far away from Anushka, even though all the other heroines were standing close together. The DP-PC pics were great but I’m not sure I buy the Kat-Anushka one. Too much of politeness…

      The first time I saw the Ranveer vid I saw it on mute coz I was at work and I was CRACKING UP. It’s hilarious either way.

      And yeah, that’s why I posted the Dirty Carpet photo. I couldn’t believe my eyes last year!

  5. OMG, Zoom is hilarious, love their in-depth journalistic capabilities. And the serious voice-over dude.

    What stinks though is that Ranveer and Anushka might not be paired on-screen again. She really needs to stop lashing out at her peers in the industry.

    • Pri,

      Yeah, not sure what’s been going on with Anu’s interviews lately. Until now I would’ve said that both Ranveer & Anu would be professional enough to set aside their personal stuff for a film but now I’m not so sure. Which is too bad coz they do make a great on-screen jodi.

  6. Bwahahah! This was too fab. Okay, let me impress you with my memory for long forgotten bits of gossip re: the Saif vs. John pout-off. I seem to remember faint rumblings that during the last Race, Bipasha was getting mighty tired of John and his wandering… er, eye. And she was looking for a replacement. Guess who she wanted? GUESS KARO! Yes, Saif and Bips were on the rebound. Sadly for Bips, she had to put her nifty Begum outfits away when Bebo decided she wanted the role instead (damn you KJo!) and she eked it out with John for a while longer. In my head all John can hear when he looks at Saif is Bipasha extolling His Highness’ virtues. In areas. Ahem.

  7. Amrita,

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I am BLOWN AWAY, just blown away. I didn’t even REMEMBER that Saif and Bips were kind of a thing during Race in 06. I bow down to thy memory – and OBVIOUSLY Race Behind The Scenes needs to be it’s own pulp fiction franchise.

    PS – I love how we all assume such wonderful things about the Nawab’s anatomy. But I have no doubt we are right. ;D

  8. Haha I love Ranveer. I don’t think the guy’s arrogant or whatever, I think he’s one of the few genuine people around.

    Saif and John… Hmmm I think all this is media crap but it could be cuz Saif’s friends with Bipasha and Kareena hates John. But its probably the clash of the egos.

    And I’m gonna take Katrina and Anushka’s friendship at face value. I believe them! Heroines can be friends! Rani Mukerji managed a friendship with Kareena Kapoor of all people and Preity Zinta. The Aishwarya one didn’t last long but I know she’s tight with Anushka and friends with Katrina. Its the Deepika-PC dosti I don’t trust…

    Anyway I just need to tell you I’m addicted to your blog. Thats all :)

    • Maya –

      Arre, does Kareena not like John? The plot thickens…

      Funny how we’re totally the opposite when it comes to the girls and their friendships. But I didn’t really think Rani-Bebo friendship was real…I seem to remember plenty of cold vibes though I’m not sure what the situation is now…Anyway, I’d love for all of them to be genuine friends but who knows, maybe KJo has made me too cynical with his “the industry is not one big happy family” tweets. :p

      And thank you! :D

  9. Oh the Rani-Kareena friendship is totally real, only a month back Kareena described it as “sacred” and when Kareena says something like that, you know she’s taking things seriously. Yeah, Kareena dislikes John but they might have made up now. She described him as “expressionless” years back and said she never wants to work with him in some flippant remark. But I think the Saif-John war is bull, I
    just read an article where Saif talks about how John inspires him to get fit.

    I love Priyanka but she comes across a little fake with friendships, especially paired
    with Deepika… :)

    Ignore Kjo, the guy is bloody bipolar. Only a few years back he was harping on about the “film fraternity” being “there for each other” as they were like “family”. This cynical tag seriously doesn’t suit him.

  10. LOL at zoom.. nice camera work…

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