Stardom Totally Sucks Man
Open Magazine had a really fun-slash-heartbreaking article (only in my world can it be both fun and heartbreaking) about stars totally going off their rocker from time to time.
The article is titled “Side Effects Of Stardom” (thank you Asim!) but the two main side effects seem to be hubris and insecurity – both human enough. I mean who among us hasn’t ogled some perfect looking creature in a beauty magazine, cursed ourselves for not looking like him/her and driven ourselves headfirst into a tub of Haagen-Dazs (or the botox factory, whatever floats your boat):
“With female stars, it’s mostly about one-upmanship.” Anushka Sharma is said to be unduly obsessed with Katrina Kaif, her rival in Jab Tak Hai Jaan. “She researches Katrina’s looks on Google—her hair, skin and makeup. But then it’s not her fault, really. Competition is so tough. You have to be at your best at all times,” says an assistant makeup artiste who worked briefly with Anushka Sharma in her earlier films and has borne the brunt of many an actress’ peculiarities.
On the male end of the spectrum, there’s this:
Take Ranveer Singh. His “psychotic and half-mad” consciousness of his own appearance, as an assistant who worked with him on a film reveals, is bizarre enough. Before any public appearance, the assistant says, he conducts closet trials. “And there is this mannequin. He makes it wear clothes and ponders how it looks on the mannequin to imagine how it will look on him. He loves colour. Just imagine the mannequin wearing a pink T-shirt, yellow blazer and green shoes… and now imagine him imagining that mannequin.”
All I know is I need to get myself a mannequin STAT.
Bollywood Hearts Sequels
Mahesh Bhatt rather ironically (is he ever un-ironic?) puts it this way:
“Blockbuster mentality has taken over, where numbers are everything. The market compels you to deliver hits. We have created franchises like Raaz, Murder, Jannat which have thrill, erotica and great music. It is difficult to create a brand and once you do it, you are ensured a minimum return on judgment day. The cow that gives you milk is the dearest of the flock.”
Well then we can all just take our creativity and shove it where the sun don’t shine.
There was a time when “sequels” (technically most aren’t even proper sequels, just brands) were a novelty in both Hollywood and Bollywood. Now, they’re just er…cash cows.
Snippetty Film News
PC Backs Film From Dinosaur Age – Deewana Main Deewana
You would think it might just be cheaper to shelve the thing than spend the additional bucks on publicity & promos, etc but presumably the Bokadias think it’s still hot property.
I gotta say I totally respect PC for standing by the film because – hell, I wouldn’t. But is she really doing it out of the goodness of her heart or is it because they’re hanging some kind of lawsuit over her head, the way the Tauranis did with Deepika and Race 2?
Possibly on a related note, I kind of feel like supporting Priyanka now. I have no idea why. Somebody, slap me quick before I go over to the dark side!
Punit Malhotra’s Imran-Kareena Starrer Gets Pukeworthy Title
GORI TERE PYAR MEIN
I’m sorry, but I just can’t imagine Imran saying “gori”. Ranveer yes, Arjun yes, maybe even Ranbir. But not Imran.
And everything I’ve heard about the film has to do with Kareena slimming down to do a whole bunch of dancing.
In fact, dancing is so important to Punit’s film that Kareena and Imran are going to rehearse their moves for 18-20 days before shooting the songs. [Source]
Aw man, and here I was hoping Imran wouldn’t have to dance at all. Because he still can’t, saala.
Is Karan Johar Fit To Direct Rani In Bombay Talkies?
I’m not sure if anyone has actually confirmed this but something something happens at the sound of Karan & Rani together again…until one realizes how far Rani has come and how at this point she has totally outgrown the KJo Universe.
The real question is whether KJo can do justice to Rani’s talent in Bombay Talkies (the short film collaboration with Zoya, Anurag and Dibakar) AND whether he’ll get a better wig for Randeep Hooda than the one the poor guy was seen wearing in the Murder 3 trailer.
Love Is Like Water Not Cola!
In more KJo News, he has many things to say about love.
It’s sad but the purity of romance has taken a beating. It’s the difference between water and cola. The ‘40s, ‘50s and ‘60s projected clean, tranquil and seamless love. Just the way a glass of water appears. Today’s love is like a fizzy cola. It’s got fizz, which eventually goes flat. Water is like the ocean, it’s endless. Unfortunately, today organic love is known as old world love. Clean love stories don’t exist anymore. We always have to add a shade of grey to the story for it to be identifiable.
Like Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna had grey, while DDLJ was pure. The love in Awaara, Shree 420 or even Guru Dutt’s films was unadulterated. It came from the heart and that’s what made them million dollar love stories. Today’s love is mixed up. It is clouded by Facebook and Twitter. That is why classic love stories bore an audience today. Today’s love stories need Imtiaz Ali’s dialogue to spunk it up.
BUT you guys, I have to tell you that all the respect he earns from me in his interviews gets smashed to glittery smithereens whenever I think of him dancing to Fevicol Se at the Screen Awards. (*smashes bangles*) Primarily because he always looks so pleased as punch when he’s dancing, never quite providing us with the relief of “okay guys I’m aware how ridiculous I look so relax, don’t break your bangles.”
And is it me, or do the Screen Awards always bring out the worst in both Karan and Shahrukh?
But speaking of Shahrukh…
Photo Of The Decade
Ooh ooh Scowlyface SRK – SOOOOO the sexy. (Oh, and also he’s on the cover of Forbes India).
Like seriously I was getting sick of Dabboo Ratnani going on and on and ON about his lame-ass calendar but THIS made up for ALL of it.
And speaking of love…
Ram Leela Poster
I know I’m a hopelessly dehati romantic when it comes to movies (IRL you won’t find a bigger cynic) but I just can’t stop staring at this poster. It seems like it’s been aaaages since I’ve seen anything quite so unabashedly old-fashioned. Anupama Chopra has called it a “bollywood opera”, others a “love saga” and while I agree that there’s a good chance SLB is going to ruin it, I kind of just wanna bask in its opulence.
Goliyon ka raas leela? Bring it!
I admit if Sajid knowingly made a parody, then this might be fun. But my gut is telling me it’s more in Joker country where no one was quite sure what the hell Shirish made. Clearly this is new territory for Sajid as far as action is concerned, and while his love for the 80s and for this film in particular is evident, the treatment of it seems a bit iffy from the trailer. I mean, how much of it is meta and how much of it is just a straight-up remake?
And does Sajid really have the ability to make a terrible film from the 80s less terrible?
Nonetheless, the part where Ajay goes “Arre 1983 hai yaar, pallu phado aur bando” was like lulz. But then, there’s the tiger. And Paresh Rawal as Kader Khan. Let’s see how far nostalgia will take us.
Quote Of The Day:
I’ve always heard that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I guess you have two options. You either hold your mouth really tight so the spoon doesn’t come out. Or you quickly learn how to eat with your hands. -Ranbir Kapoor
(from the Kapoors Thinkfest Talk)