18 Comments

Stardom Sucks! Sequels = Cash Cows! + Ram Leela, Himmatwala, KJo, Anushka, Ranveer, PC, SRK & More Amazingly Random News!!

Stardom Totally Sucks Man

Open Magazine had a really fun-slash-heartbreaking article (only in my world can it be both fun and heartbreaking) about stars totally going off their rocker from time to time.

The article is titled “Side Effects Of Stardom” (thank you Asim!) but the two main side effects seem to be hubris and insecurity – both human enough. I mean who among us hasn’t ogled some perfect looking creature in a beauty magazine, cursed ourselves for not looking like him/her and driven ourselves headfirst into a tub of Haagen-Dazs (or the botox factory, whatever floats your boat):

“With female stars, it’s mostly about one-upmanship.” Anushka Sharma is said to be unduly obsessed with Katrina Kaif, her rival in Jab Tak Hai Jaan. “She researches Katrina’s looks on Google—her hair, skin and makeup. But then it’s not her fault, really. Competition is so tough. You have to be at your best at all times,” says an assistant makeup artiste who worked briefly with Anushka Sharma in her earlier films and has borne the brunt of many an actress’ peculiarities.

On the male end of the spectrum, there’s this:

Take Ranveer Singh. His “psychotic and half-mad” consciousness of his own appearance, as an assistant who worked with him on a film reveals, is bizarre enough. Before any public appearance, the assistant says, he conducts closet trials. “And there is this mannequin. He makes it wear clothes and ponders how it looks on the mannequin to imagine how it will look on him. He loves colour. Just imagine the mannequin wearing a pink T-shirt, yellow blazer and green shoes… and now imagine him imagining that mannequin.”

All I know is I need to get myself a mannequin STAT.

Bollywood Hearts Sequels 

A lot of sequels talk going around as TOI claims that there as many as 10 sequels releasing this year and Firstpost asks why so many sequels yo?

Mahesh Bhatt rather ironically (is he ever un-ironic?) puts it this way:

“Blockbuster mentality has taken over, where numbers are everything. The market compels you to deliver hits. We have created franchises like Raaz, Murder, Jannat which have thrill, erotica and great music. It is difficult to create a brand and once you do it, you are ensured a minimum return on judgment day. The cow that gives you milk is the dearest of the flock.”

Well then we can all just take our creativity and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

There was a time when “sequels” (technically most aren’t even proper sequels, just brands) were a novelty in both Hollywood and Bollywood. Now, they’re just er…cash cows.

Snippetty Film News

PC Backs Film From Dinosaur Age – Deewana Main Deewana

You would think it might just be cheaper to shelve the thing than spend the additional bucks on publicity & promos, etc but presumably the Bokadias think it’s still hot property.

HOT PROPERTY!

HOT PROPERTY!

I gotta say I totally respect PC for standing by the film because – hell, I wouldn’t. But is she really doing it out of the goodness of her heart or is it because they’re hanging some kind of lawsuit over her head, the way the Tauranis did with Deepika and Race 2?

Possibly on a related note, I kind of feel like supporting Priyanka now. I have no idea why. Somebody, slap me quick before I go over to the dark side!

Punit Malhotra’s Imran-Kareena Starrer Gets Pukeworthy Title

GORI TERE PYAR MEIN

I’m sorry, but I just can’t imagine Imran saying “gori”. Ranveer yes, Arjun yes, maybe even Ranbir. But not Imran.

And everything I’ve heard about the film has to do with Kareena slimming down to do a whole bunch of dancing.

In fact, dancing is so important to Punit’s film that Kareena and Imran are going to rehearse their moves for 18-20 days before shooting the songs. [Source]

Aw man, and here I was hoping Imran wouldn’t have to dance at all. Because he still can’t, saala.

Is Karan Johar Fit To Direct Rani In Bombay Talkies?

I’m not sure if anyone has actually confirmed this but something something happens at the sound of Karan & Rani together again…until one realizes how far Rani has come and how at this point she has totally outgrown the KJo Universe.

The real question is whether KJo can do justice to Rani’s talent in Bombay Talkies (the short film collaboration with Zoya, Anurag and Dibakar) AND whether he’ll get a better wig for Randeep Hooda than the one the poor guy was seen wearing in the Murder 3 trailer.

Love Is Like Water Not Cola!

In more KJo News, he has many things to say about love.

It’s sad but the purity of romance has taken a beating. It’s the difference between water and cola. The ‘40s, ‘50s and ‘60s projected clean, tranquil and seamless love. Just the way a glass of water appears. Today’s love is like a fizzy cola. It’s got fizz, which eventually goes flat. Water is like the ocean, it’s endless. Unfortunately, today organic love is known as old world love. Clean love stories don’t exist anymore. We always have to add a shade of grey to the story for it to be identifiable.

Like Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna had grey, while DDLJ was pure. The love in Awaara, Shree 420 or even Guru Dutt’s films was unadulterated. It came from the heart and that’s what made them million dollar love stories. Today’s love is mixed up. It is clouded by Facebook and Twitter. That is why classic love stories bore an audience today. Today’s love stories need Imtiaz Ali’s dialogue to spunk it up.

Basically, YES.

BUT you guys, I have to tell you that all the respect he earns from me in his interviews gets smashed to glittery smithereens whenever I think of him dancing to Fevicol Se at the Screen Awards. (*smashes bangles*) Primarily because he always looks so pleased as punch when he’s dancing, never quite providing us with the relief of “okay guys I’m aware how ridiculous I look so relax, don’t break your bangles.”

And is it me, or do the Screen Awards always bring out the worst in both Karan and Shahrukh?

But speaking of Shahrukh…

Photo Of The Decade

GF Pics19

Ooh ooh Scowlyface SRK – SOOOOO the sexy. (Oh, and also he’s on the cover of Forbes India).

Like seriously I was getting sick of Dabboo Ratnani going on and on and ON about his lame-ass calendar but THIS made up for ALL of it.

And speaking of love…

Ram Leela Poster

ramleela

I know I’m a hopelessly dehati romantic when it comes to movies (IRL you won’t find a bigger cynic) but I just can’t stop staring at this poster. It seems like it’s been aaaages since I’ve seen anything quite so unabashedly old-fashioned. Anupama Chopra has called it a “bollywood opera”, others a “love saga” and while I agree that there’s a good chance SLB is going to ruin it, I kind of just wanna bask in its opulence.

Goliyon ka raas leela? Bring it!

Himmatwala Trailer

I admit if Sajid knowingly made a parody, then this might be fun. But my gut is telling me it’s more in Joker country where no one was quite sure what the hell Shirish made. Clearly this is new territory for Sajid as far as action is concerned, and while his love for the 80s and for this film in particular is evident, the treatment of it seems a bit iffy from the trailer. I mean, how much of it is meta and how much of it is just a straight-up remake?

And does Sajid really have the ability to make a terrible film from the 80s less terrible?

Nonetheless, the part where Ajay goes “Arre 1983 hai yaar, pallu phado aur bando” was like lulz. But then, there’s the tiger. And Paresh Rawal as Kader Khan. Let’s see how far nostalgia will take us.

Quote Of The Day:

I’ve always heard that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I guess you have two options. You either hold your mouth really tight so the spoon doesn’t come out. Or you quickly learn how to eat with your hands. -Ranbir Kapoor

(from the Kapoors Thinkfest Talk)

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18 comments on “Stardom Sucks! Sequels = Cash Cows! + Ram Leela, Himmatwala, KJo, Anushka, Ranveer, PC, SRK & More Amazingly Random News!!

  1. Ram Leela is one of those films that makes me glad I don’t get to see films on release. I would LOVE an old-fashioned epic romance, but I can barely type the letters SLB with getting worked up into a rage of revulsion thinking about Devdas & Black, so I can wait until other SLB anti-fans have put themselves through it to see if if I want to risk it. Still, SLB at least has the effect of making me think fondly of KJo in comparison.

    • Stuart – LOLZ, I actually liked Devdas but pretty much everything after Devdas has been intolerable. Except for the set design and costumes which are always beautiful…I always hope with every film that SLB will design his scenes as thoughtfully as he designs his sets and the “look” of his films. Alas, the characters & dialog are always intolerably OTT.

  2. QUICK! WATCH FASHION STAT before you start getting all Team Piggy Chops on us.

    Ranbir, dude, that was actually funny.

  3. Fact: If dancing was “so important” to Punit’s film, there is NO WAY IN HELL he would have cast Imran Khan.

    • FG – Right? The dancing, the fact that it’s set in a village, and the word “gori” (as in village girl, not firangi lol), Imran is a strange choice. Then again I was mightily unimpressed with IHLS and don’t think Punit is much of a director at all. More like KJo’s charity case.

  4. Imran and Kareena? Again? Ugh. Also, Kareena herself doesn’t strike me as the village girl type…IDK.

    I admit, I’m starting to kinda defend PC too…but then I remember to read her twitter bio or look at her Instagram handle – that shuts down all the goodwill pretty fast.

    The Ram Leela poster looks amateurish…not feelin’ the colors and the background is so obviously photoshopped. Love that the name of the film is in Hindi though!

    Oh…and Shah Rukh…NEVER SHAVE!

    • Ani – Right? I don’t know why people love the Imran-Kareena pairing so much, it does absolutely nothing for me. But then Imran basically does nothing for me so….

      Really have no clue why I’m softening towards PC. YE HO KYA RAHA HA MERE SAATH?! Even the instagram, the emo-tweets, Fashion everything I’m like “awww PC”. Egads the aliens have taken over my brain.

  5. Haha come on you gotta love Priyanka! She even refused her fee cuz the producers couldn’t afford and whatever scenes they asked she re shot. How many actresses would do that, especially for such a bad film?

    I almost died with excitement when I heard about KJo & Rani. Not cuz I like Karan- I’d been bashing him for months before this news- but cuz this means she’s getting offered big films and will actually have a release this year- all the woman seems to do is refuse films! Gulab Gang, Ek Thi Dayaan, Begum
    Samru biopic, Midnights Children… The list is endless.

    I’m a big SLB fan although after films like Guzaarish I’m not really sure why. Am I the only one who dislikes the poster? :(

    And hey, no Imran bashing, I love the guy… :)

    • Maya –

      I KNOW! That’s why, the PC-love. *sniff*

      God I wish Rani would sign more films, but I guess she doesn’t want to to get stuck in ensemble pieces or bit roles just yet? I love the woman but she really is toooo choosy. She would’ve been awesomesauce in Gulab Gang.

      LOL I’m an SLB fan too but like you , god only knows why. I think it’s still leftover from being wowed by the opulence of HDDCS and Devdas so all the crap he’s done since then somehow fades from memory (also because I never ever rewatched any of the films post-Devdas).

      Er, we shall agree to disagree on Imran for now until inexplicably I go soft towards him in the future LOL. :D

  6. I love Salman Khan and Dabangg but I don’t think I can take it till Dabangg 4, 5 and counting (if it ever happens). That’s how much I’m not in favour with Bollywood and its sequels. After being shown and presented with the same-same casts and somewhat its similar background you get tired and just wants to watch a fresh-new-never-before-venture into film… Which brings me to Kjo’s Love Is Like Water Not Cola definition. Bring me those DDLJ or MPK type of innocent love story yaar! I’m so not a fan of KANK. Watch it once and I hated SRK’s character so much I never watch it ever again.. I can always watch DDLJ anytime!

    I kinda soften a lil’ towards PC when I read she’s still backing that film.. Only a lil’ tiny spot in my big dil though.. So yeah I’m still safe here :)

    Come on, I like Imran.. Actually is he that bad as an actor or am I being biased and refused to accept the fact that he is bad at acting because I find him cute? I just melts when I watch him in Jaane Tu.. or I hate Luv Storys..

    p.s. I love how the little icon turns pink whenever I post my comment. I don’t know if you know what I’m referring to hehehe

    • diwaniladki – I totally agree re sequels – there’s too much repetition now, the same characters, the same basic story line. Last year we got a lot of fresh new content, but this year all the sequels are catching up with us… I also love that KJo understands the differences between love in the movies then and now, what’s possible and what’s not – let’s see if he can bring back some of that innocent love in his movie!

      Re Imran, he’s definitely cute and I think he’s a great guy IRL but…on-screen bechara is not doing anything for me! :D

      LOL I’m not sure what you’re talking about re the icon turning pink….I don’t think it does that for me! :(;)

  7. I am softening a little toward PC, too! What is this world coming to? I mean, she was excellent in Barfi!, attended all the awards, regardless of whether she went on to win or not (kudos to Sri for that, too, btw), and I find her friendliness toward the ladies (Vidya, Deeps) charming. I also like that she’s sticking by this movie; from what I’ve read, she’s doing it just out of graciousness, not because of the threat of a lawsuit. I doubt Bokadia could have afforded a prolonged legal battle against PC, and, whatever she may be, girl’s a professional (despite that little incident with Ranbu at the awards.) But all this good will lasts till she opens her mouth. Like, at the Screen Awards, where she tried to do her all-round-performer/little-girl-next-door schtick, and I was cringing. It reminded me of why Bollywood awards can be so painfully sloppy; we don’t really have any professional entertainers, in the real sense of the world, to anchor the awards – you know, people who can actually work a joke, read the teleprompter, hit their marks, and do it all without stealing all the focus. Aside from that, the writing for the hosts is often abysmal, the presenters are probably picked last-minute from who attends (Sophie Choudhury is hot, but why is she still giving away trophies?), and, despite being paid a bomb, very few people rehearse their acts to perfection (the few people I can think of who put on a flawless performance every single time are Ash, Madhuri, Hrithik, and Sridevi, i.e. people who can actually dance. The rest just awkwardly move in place.) I do like it when Imran and Ranbir host together, though. Those dudes have more chemistry together than they’ve had with any of their leading ladies. Some seriously steamy slash is just waiting to be written . . .

    I like my love stories complicated, even dark. I enjoy the sweet, unworldly romantic films, but give me an onscreen world where love is messy, sexual, painful, and selfish any day. I mean, Yash Chopra’s love stories were shiny and meticulously art-directed, but they were full of pretty dark impulses and implications. They were as grown-up as his usually unsatisfactorily written endings allowed them to be. Rock Star is probably my favorite Hindi-language love story of recent times, and it’s heart-rending to watch. This is why, despite the major flaws in his most recent films, SLB remains a favorite with me. His films, while gorgeous and old-fashioned in their storytelling, mine the darkest, most savage and twisted fields of the heart. I like that things are moving forward, I like that our best filmmakers are getting more and more frank, I am glad that voices that would not be heard before are being transmitted through Hindi films today. I have a lot of love for DDLJ and KKHH, and nostalgia is a big part of that love, but I want to see Zoya’s take on love, Vishal’s take on love, Dibakar’s take on love. I love that love is grown-up even in Dabanng, that most masala-y of masala films, where the dynamics of caste, class, and gender are subtly but beautifully acknowledged. Give me love stories that are both sincere and knowing, but heartbreaking and hysterical, both self-aware and completely in thrall to their heart.

    So, as you can tell from the last paragraph, I adore SLB, but Guzaarish, while beautifully filmed and perfectly acted, had a stinker of a screenplay, and I am not sure if I like Saawariya (even though I admired its commitment to its own loony universe.) But Devdas, which I know EVERYBODY hates, is pretty much perfect for what it is. No contemporary mainstream Bollywood film has revealed SO much subtext, nuance, and painstaking craftsmanship on each viewing as Devdas has. I feel like people judged the film for what it wasn’t, as opposed to what it was – a passionate, problematic, nihilistic, amoral fever-dream, a cinematic monster-of-Frankenstein -stitched together from opera, from the most plaintive moments in mujra and the most cannily knowing ones in jatra, from Raj Kapoor and V, Shantaram, from Grand Guignol (I mean, come on – several moments in the film were staged like high-camp horror), and from the Radha-Krishna mythology – that is just as strange as that fictional creature and just as affecting. I I love Devdas so much that I wrote an essay on it in seventh grade and then a paper in college on ego and identity-politics in the film. The point of this long-ass rant is that if Ram-Leela is in that Devdas space of gorgeous, unironic, festive, tragic romance, then I’m in.

    Okay, so here’s my deal with Sajid Khan: dude canNOT make a film. His films are badly written, badly shot, the dialogues are astonishingly lame, the sets and clothes have gotten progressively worse, even his sister phones in the choreography, and the actors do their worst (Rishi is my jaan, and he’s unwatchable in Housefull 2). I am totally down with slapstick (LOVE Andaaz Apna Apna, love Half Ticket, am amused by Rohit Shetty’s first Golmaal) and I’m totally down with loud Southern-style masala when it’s done well (Rowdy Rathore was, in every way, too much, but you got the sense that Prabhu Deva knew what he was doing.) But Sajid Khan is THE WORST. There’s room for a clever new take on Himmatwala that subverts the original’s regressive gender politics and has fun with its haves-vs.-have-nots storyline. Sajid Khan’s version will probably not be that take.

    I love Bebo, I love Imran (don’t hate me), but neither can dance. Spare us, Punit.

    • GAH. I am terribly sorry for taking up so much real estate on your post, GetFilmy. *hangs head in shame*

    • Sal – LOL NO APOLOGIES, no shame. Your comments are awesome and I wish you would start your own blog so I could fangirl you over there because I LOVE your writing (not that you should stop commenting over here hehe).

      Hai tauba we are all mind-melding over PC, pata nahin some jadoo tona she must be doing hahaha. Speaking of awards, did you see Ranbir’s act though, the RK tribute? I nearly DIED watching him, especially the part with his mom. Dude can do no wrong.

      Oooh, I love a dark, savage and twisted love story, which is also why I loved SLB up until Devdas (and appreciated what he tried to do in Black, Guzaarish but ZOMG the melodrama is just too much). And you’re right, most of YC’s love stories also explored that dark,flawed angle. It’s also exactly why I love Rockstar. These guys know how to explore the flaws, the conflicts both internal and external without losing the filmyness and the grammar of Hindi films or going into, say, Dev. D territory (which is personally not my taste though who knows, maybe it explored Dev’s breakdown more effectively than SLB’s version did). I mean, maybe it’s not the best thing to romanticize alcoholism but that’s how storytelling was in the old days – it wasn’t as clinical and black & white as it is today, where there’s no room for poetry in pain and we have a medical/psychiatric diagnosis for everything.

      I wonder if a lot of people don’t like Devdas simply because the protagonist is such an asshole. But that’s the point of it – he IS an asshole and that’s how he loses everything. The flaws of the human ego and how it destroys, ruins, self-destructs… Add to that the lushness of the cinematography and SLB’s visualization of it, plus ASH FREAKIN’ GORGEOUS as Paro…siiiiiigh.

      No arguments re Sajid – I’ve wondered this before elsewhere on the blog as to how a dude who has such a great sense of humor off-screen and in his interviews and as a TV host NEVER manages to convey that witty humor in his movies. Why does he always go for SO stupid that it’s no longer funny? Especially when in real life, that’s not his brand of humor. I mean you know both him and Farah have this wicked, naughty wit & humor off-screen – Farah’s you can still see it in her films, but Sajid just goes for the lowest common denominator.

    • Agree with just about everything you said. LOVED Ranbu’s performance. Dude can seriously do no wrong. And Neetu’s still got it. Like, she was sprightlier than a number of the current leading ladies. Also loved Ranveer’s performance. If the audiences give him half a chance, and if he keeps his head screwed on, I see this dude doing some excellent stuff. There is something crazy-amazing about his energy.

  8. So I read that Open article when you posted the link and the first thing that came to mine was – so Ranveer who is all sorts of OCD about his appearance is acting in a movie directed SLB who is all sorts of OCD about the appearance of everything in his movies? I mean, this is the man who, according to brat extraordinaire Sonam Kapoor, would call for a retake because her one strand of hair wasn’t curling to his satisfaction.

    Poor Deepika. But then she’s good at holding a pose and takes great pride in her “talent” to do so as she informed us Anu Chopra’s show.

    Himmatwala is full of … interesting choices. But then it would have to be because the original is near unwatchable. I say “near” because my childhood was devoted to Nainon mein sapna and these two need to STEP OFF the giant pots because we all know that shizz is legit patented by two people and those two people are Sri and Jeetu. But I don’t know, girl, I think Sajid might have tickled my curiosity?

    Ranbir baby, let other people write your dialogues. They make more sense that way.

    • Amrita – Haha, given the size of Ranveer’s moonch and beard in Ram Leela, I’m amazed they got any takes done at all! Battle of the OCDs!

      I know what you mean re Himmatwala. The nostalgia of Ta Thaiyya Ta Thaiyya nearly overpowers everything but good lord that was a terrible film and Sajid’s films are already insufferable anyway. I AM curious though because I think his humor is best when he’s spoofing old films, not when he’s trying to do slapstick.But still…it’s Himmatwala, and Sajid.

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