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Deadly Zingers & Crazy Headlines!: Salman Khan, Farah Khan, Murder 3 + What All The Kids Are Up To & Atif Aslam!!

Bit of a rushed post today but SO MUCH OF ZINGING going on in B-town! I think Ameesha Patel’s GlamStar adverts are just making everyone really irritable.

Salman Khan ZINGERS!

salman

On the sets of a recent ad shoot Salman was in no mood to walk. Or act. Or over-act. So he gave the director a piece of his mind, in 3 parts.

1. Agar walk karana hai toh kisi model ko bula lete (If you wanted me to walk, you should’ve hired a model)

2. Agar acting hi karani hai toh Hrithik ko le lete (If you wanted me to act, you should’ve hired Hrithik)

And because a real Bhai Zing is not complete without SRK -

3. Aur agar overacting hi karani hai toh Shahrukh ko le lete (And if you wanted me to over-act, you should’ve hired Shahrukh)

Chalta phirta masala fillim this man is.

But best is the last line of Mumbai Mirror’s report:

And with that, he walked out of the frame. Last heard, the production unit was trying its best to make the most of what they had.

*evil grin*

Please expect headlines like “Salman Khan-Shahrukh Khan war hots up again” to explode all over the planet. And BREATHE Khan fans. It. will. be. okay.

Murder 3 ZINGERS!

OH THE IRONY

OH THE IRONY

Aditi Rao Hydari is either promoting Murder 3 and/or attacking Mallika Sherawat (two birds, one stone BollyLife – well done!)

“You need steel in your soul not silicone in your boobs to be a woman of substance.”

Yup, because Vishesh Films has NEVER hired actresses with silicone in their boobs to play women of substance with steel in their souls. That isn’t like, THEIR ENTIRE FILMOGRAPHY.

PUKE.

Also, Aditi says Murder 3 “will hurl you back to the space Mahesh Bhatt had courageously explored in Arth“. HAHAHA, no no it’ll just make us hurl because THAT Mahesh Bhatt is long gone. Arth was long before the silicone boobs took up permanent residence at Vishesh Films.

Farah Khan ZINGS KJo!

Seen on Twitter recently, Karan Johar directing a movie in *gasp* BOMBAY:

“En route VT station for 2nd IPL ad, but had to stop mid way to see an unbelievable sight. Karan Johar shooting at a local over-bridge! Not an NRI in sight!

I had a “laughter” breakdown! I’ve only seen [Karan] at Piccadilly Station, NOT Bandra Station.”

Hehehe.

Abhishek Kapoor ZINGS The 100 Crore Club

“Is it only about making money? Can’t you do that in a million other ways? I want to make a film I want to make. Money doesn’t give me a high. Ninety per cent work for money. Money validates them; they all say 100 crore and all that, but no one thinks about how long the movie will run. I find this bizarre. You are not going to take this money to your grave.” [Open Magazine]

Point taken Abhishek. But what if Golmaal 4 IS what Rohit Shetty wants to make? And I don’t know about money but it’s quite possible that Sajid Khan will want to take Himmatwala to his grave. :/

What Them Kids Are Up To – Crazy Headlines Edition

Clearly, the media is as bored out of their minds as I am with B-town right about now, because the news recently  has been like FOR SERIOUS?

Ranveer is ALL OVER THE PLACE, twisting Priyanka’s arm, and painting the town red with Deepika in between trying to avoid Anushka.  This kid is in everybody’s business.

Meanwhile, Anushka is trying to put an end to their “cold war” by complimenting his stubble. (Big ups for this headline: “Stubble Ends Trouble”. Stubble generally is the answer to everything. But what Ranveer has is not stubble. It’s just trouble. )

stubbletrouble

Nargis is battling snakes in the jungles of Kochi. She’s also shooting for Shoojit Sircar’s next film which frankly, is more troubling for me than the snakes AND Ranveer’s stubble.

Sonakshi is definitely NOT KISSING ANYBODY.

Deepika & Ranbir are….EATING. A LOT.

- Deepika throws huge Kashmiri dinner bash for YJHD team in honor of Race 2′s success.

- On the last day of shooting schedule of YJHD in Pahalgam, director Ayan Mukherjee threw a party for the crew in which wazwan was served. (via twitter)

- Ranbir ditches advert shoot to eat pani puri.

And I have no idea where Katrina is.

Eye Candy Of The Month

…..is obviously Atif Aslam because neither Ms. Forgot My Pants nor Vivek Oberoi can hold a frikkin’ candle to a fully clothed, fully fierce and fully enigmatic Atif in the Mehermaan video for Jayanta Bhai Ki Luv Story.

Jayanta Bhai Ki WHAT you ask? Yeah. Exactly. Fortunately, Atif is NOT Jayanta Bhai. And when he’s featured in a video, no one gives a crap about Vivek Oberoi, or anyone else. FACT.

On the one hand, I really wish he would stop singing for Tips Industries  because any Atif fan knows that generic shiz is so not what he’s all about.

On the other hand, I guess I understand that everyone needs to toe the line between art and commerce if they hope to remain visible and relevant. Prince, Race, et al backed by Tips’ marketing machinery probably gets him more eyeballs and ears worldwide than Coke Studio or even his own albums and concerts ever will.

Plus where else would we catch Atif singing a love ballad, wearing shades and spreading his arms wide while randomly standing around in Dubai? That’s right, ONLY IN A TIPS VIDEO.

About these ads

6 comments on “Deadly Zingers & Crazy Headlines!: Salman Khan, Farah Khan, Murder 3 + What All The Kids Are Up To & Atif Aslam!!

  1. Ugh!! Ameesha Ben is just too much.

    And loved this line : “Chalta phirta masala fillim this man is.” So true! Now all media folks will go mad after SRK for bytes!

    This Aditi girl looks so cute. God knows what is she doing with Bhatts?! I read that statement here on your blog. I dont know what is with Vishesh Films & their Heroines. They just give such shitty statements when their film is about to release. Look at Bips, she is doing ONLY horror films. WTF!

    Ranveer Singh is becoming the female Ameesha Patel. SUCH A DESPO!

    Lastly, I’m sooo excited to see Rani back with KJo. I just hope this works really well for both of them. (Not liking Randeep Hooda, but I trust KJo). Confessing on your blog for the first time, but I too iz “Team Aiyyaa” :-D I have a feeling that this Bombay Talkies will be out-n-out masala filmy flick, considering that KJo wants to release it on May 3rd (in a record time) when Hindi Cinema will complete 100 years! *fingers crossed*

    Also, read your previous posts too which I missed out. Awesome posts as always. :-)

  2. Rahul – every time you say “Ameesha Ben” it KILLLS me hehehehe.

    So disappointed Aditi is with the Bhatts coz she seems like a smart girl but gebus who told her to tweet that crap!? Like she joined twitter and THAT was her first tweet? Ew.

    Awww, Ranveer might be despo about the ladies but I still think he’s super-talented, one of the boys with amazing energy. i feel like it’s been SO LONG since BBB and LVRB did nothing to justify his potential.

    Rani + KJo = love but I’m curious what Karan will do with his 20 minute portion in Bombay Talkies, I am SO excited about it – Zoya, Karan, Dibakar & Anurag together in one film is total stuff of dreams territory. :)

  3. OMG Aditi’s zinger is like…seriously…the best thing EVER.

    “Deepika & Ranbir are….EATING. A LOT.”

    I’m rooting for DP/RK part 2!

    • Ani – isn’t it just? I’m convinced Mahesh Bhatt told her to tweet that, it just sounds like it comes from the Bhatt school of “feminism” – ughh, so aggravating.

      And DP + RK FOREVAA! ;)

  4. I know someone who studied in the same class at boarding school with Aditi — that girl is 35, so Aditi’s probably that age herself. She looks really young and fresh, a good ten years younger right?

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