Okay! First of all, sorry peeps for being AWOL on the blog but I’ve been crazy busy dealing with some boring non-Bollywood business. And it has been KILLING me to be out of the loop coz lots of BIG STUFF happened in the last couple of weeks, didn’t it?
Big Stuff #1: Title Announcement Of The Century
There was a title, there was a poem, there were translations.
And there was a WTF poster.
First things first – I like the title Jab Tak Hai Jaan even if it does remind me (and everybody else) of Sholay’s epic villain-den song to end all villain-den songs. I’m sure that fact didn’t elude the thinking caps over at YRF because they attempted to wipe out all cognitive associations with the song by presenting us with a kind of meh-ish first-look poem.
Now, it’s not a bad poem. It’s just not great. My question is this – when you’ve got Gulzar on your payroll anyway, WHY NOT ASK HIM TO WRITE IT? The way it reads to me, it’s like Adi’s pulling a poor-man’s Kabhi Kabhi and it’s just kind of unoriginal.
Nonetheless the rush to have the poem translated into English (and all other languages around the world) was initiated by Shahrukh himself, which I was totally excited for but then definitely disappointed in.
Because “mischievous and saline” just sounds kinda nuts. Shah, I love you (and you look damn hot in that black scarf) but no!
Anyway, given that everyone’s twisting their lingo backwards and forwards to try and translate phrases like “namkeen mastiyan” or “lehrati angdaiyaan”, the whole thing was a fun way to get the fans buzzing (because yeah, the thing did trend for like 2 days straight, and that was just the title release).
Meanwhile, Yash Uncle needs to fire everyone from YRF’s poster department because seriously, WTF is this?
Better not to release a poster at all than to present one that looks like a butchered copy-paste job. The whole thing is like a badly made valentine’s card by a 5th grader, with Anuskha on a motorbike randomly tacked on for good measure. NOT OKAY YRF.
Anyway, not that any of that matters because NOTHING can kill my excitement for this movie now. Shahrukh is looking supa-fine in all of the stills – even this one where he’s got a well-placed hand NOT on Kat’s ass….
….and tweet of the day on THAT one goes to some guy (can’t find the tweet) who was like “Has Kat ever looked so cute with Sallu?”
Me, I’m just waiting for Yash Uncle’s birthday and the trailer – which is due to be out on September 27th – CAN.NOT.WAIT.
Big Stuff #2: PC In My City (Culture Shock 101)
People, PC isn’t just in my city, she’s everywhere you look. The single, the rave reviews for her performance in Barfi! (which I’m DYING to watch), the late night visits to various superstar Khans…. someone explain to me why she can’t visit them during normal daylight hours like everybody else, please….
But anyway, let’s talk NFL.
I caught the video when it aired on Thursday Night Kickoff coz I wanted to catch the whole thing, you know – really take in the whole “Priyanka Chopra is on the mothertruckin’ NFL Network bitches!!!!” instead of some disembodied Youtube video and boy, was it worth it.
I wasn’t wrong when I said they were going for the cultural clash jugular with this because watching PC doing the American pop star thing on an it-doesn’t-get-more-American-than-this channel was so many levels of culture shock, I didn’t know which perspective of my third-culture-kid consciousness I should process it with.
As a desi, it was mad weird. I mean, if they’d just debuted her on MTV it would’ve been less disorienting. This was not the PC of Bollywood. This was PC being a conglomeration of every generic pop star ever to hit the VH1 roster. And in the end, I think that was the buggy thing about it – the music had no personality, it looked and smelled like a “let’s create a global pop star” project put together by a generic pop-technician-team. Without getting into the technicalities of the failures of American pop (and rock for that matter) in the new millenium, let’s just say PC does nothing to add to that crisis.
But oh, am I expecting too much then? Is it enough that she’s a desi and she’s got this huge American/”international” platform to showcase “her music” on?
Or is it okay to expect that the music should be you know, kind of interesting?
Anyway, that was her first single – there’s still a whole album to come. The other video (the official PC video, not the NFL one) is slightly better than watching PC jumping around in NFL gear, complete with pom-poms (puke). But overall for me, the whole thing was completely strange.
Salman TOTALLY Loves PC’s Single. Like, For Real Bhai?
Even stranger, however was Salman’s “bak to bak 3 times” endorsement of the song.
Omg ! Jst heard priyanka chopra's english track 3 times bak to bak , called in my city . Its fab , outstanding ! SALAAM miss chopra .—
Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) September 14, 2012
So I don’t have a dirty mind AT ALL but what’s the connection between PC’s 5 a.m. visit and Bhai suddenly going (Omg!) gaga over music that I suspect he normally wouldn’t listen to even one time, forget three times, even if you paid him to do it.
DAYLIGHT HOURS, PC. PLEASE LEAVE MY KHANS ALONE DURING THE WEE HOURS OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE SOMEHOW THE PAPS ALWAYS FIND YOU AND THEN THE KHANDOM GOES BANANAS.
Frenemy Files: Bebo-PC
Other than promoting Heroine and trending for an entire day (despite the counter-trending juggernaut that was #PCGoesPop) when TOI made the jaw-dropping discovery that her post-marital name would be (shocker!!!) Kareena Kapoor Khan, Queen Bebo has been holding court with her frenemies.
In recent interviews she’s praised PC for her “damdaar” voice and acting chops in Barfi and gone all gushy about how great Deepika looks with Saif. Ah, but you know our Bebo – PR Queen she is. She pulls the right strings at the right time but she never lets you forget that it’s HER Queendom you’re standing in. A Bollywood blue-blood if I ever saw one.
If you haven’t seen this video of what went down when Priyanka dropped in on the Heroine sets, you MUST RIGHT NOW. It’ll put the whole frenemy thing into perspective.
OHO! Battle of The Divas complete with excessive hair-flipping, hair in rollers, fake air-kissing, MAD Bebo-eyes (seriously she could freeze a room with that I-am-so-judging-you-right-now stare). What say? I think Bebo came out tops in this little battle.
Awww, but am I insinuating that Bebo can’t be friends with her female colleagues? Why yes I am saying that coz Bebo doesn’t need friends in the industry. After all, woh apni favorite hain.
Preity Zinta Vs The Paparazzi
In news that no one really cares about, Preity twisted her ankle then had a twitter meltdown after being “attacked” by the paparazzi. Right, because apparently the paps don’t have bigger fish and bigger celebs to fry. But that’s okay because our super-sensitive Preity is living in her own little delusional Ishkq-y bubble these days.
Unsurprisingly, IIP’s release has been postponed, which is just code for “the movie sucks ass and needs to be heavily re-edited”. Maybe they can edit the “hero” out entirely.
AND I only just saw this Kudiye Di Kurti song and didn’t know whether to be mad or sad coz this is ugggghhhhhhh…..
Girl, you better postpone that shit – indefinitely. Even Salman can’t save this Disaster No. 1.
Talaash Is Allllmooooost Here!!
Needless to say, I LOVE the new trailer!!
Talaash Conspiracy Theories Seen On Twitter Based On The Trailer:
Aamir did it.
Aamir is actually dead.
The Moustache is the main clue.
And Finally…..Dreamum Wakeuppam!!!
UGAIZ I CAN’T STOP WATCHING THIS VIDEO.
Primarily it’s because I’m ogling, ogling shamelessly the stud-muffin that is Prithiviraj. Also coz it is so awesome to watch Rani having such a blast and the choreography is so deliciously over the top, raunchy and ridiculous.
That, of course, is the whole point of the song but there was some rumbling-grumbling around the twitsphere about how Anurag has sold out by going so commercial with this, and also how insulting the song is to South Indians. But there’s obvious context to consider before watching and the whole thing is supposed to be in the spirit of mad, ridiculous, looneybins fun.
Anyway, it’s working for me big time because I’m shamelessly addicted to it.
And did I say this already? PRITHVIIIIIIIIIII!!!!